He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
