Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
