he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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