I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
