He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
