with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
