she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
