I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize