Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
