Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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