check it out our google latitudes are spooning
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
