I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
