2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
