Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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