So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize