She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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