I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
