right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize