Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
