he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize