I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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