going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
