I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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