last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
