so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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