So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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