I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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