wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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