Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
