Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
