How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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