Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
