I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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