did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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