apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
