I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We left the knife in your bed.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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