Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He felt like a one man threesome
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
