i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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