As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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