he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
they're like a gay fantastic four
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
