The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We named our party play list daddy issues
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
