Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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