New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
