Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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