Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
