You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
