"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
