also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
