We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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