My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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