Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
