You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
