she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
