People in love make me want to vomit
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
