Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize