Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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