at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
