I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
