If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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