I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
did you just send me my own nude
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