she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
