the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
