It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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