My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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