i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
