i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
